A Tight-Knit Circle of Degenerates

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The official sportsbook of people who should know better. Standings, superlatives, and the weekly word from the commissioner — all betting fake money against a real market.

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Fake money✦Real consequences✦The house always remembers✦Touch grass? Never heard of it✦Bet responsibly (do not)✦Someone is always wrong✦Fake money✦Real consequences✦The house always remembers✦Touch grass? Never heard of it✦Bet responsibly (do not)✦Someone is always wrong✦

Total Bets233103W · 130L settled

Total Wagered$2.9Mfake dollars, real shame

In the Arena5registered degenerates

Live Now0last action 5w ago

House Vitals

The Book

All-Time

Biggest Hit Ever💰

+$106,578.18

Kevin Pruett cashed on Reg Time: Tie · Germany vs Paraguay: Regulation Time Moneyline

Live / Pending0$0 at risk · 0 contracts

Hit Rate44%across 233 settled bets

Average Ticket$12,567.64per bet placed

The House+$173,966.626% edge

House Vitals

The Book

All-Time

Player of the Week

MVP

7-Day

🦗

Crickets.

Not a single bet this week. The whole group went outside and touched grass. Disgraceful.

Player of the Week

MVP

7-Day

The Sunday Rundown

Word From the Commissioner

4w ago

THE SUNDAY RUNDOWN 🎯

Folks, we had ourselves a situation this week. One bet dropped, five settled, and the scoreboard looks like a crime scene.

Hollywood with the classic Hollywood moment — up $2.04 on a tie, then immediately down $298,427.36 on Argentina. That's not a loss, that's a character arc. A tragic one. 🎬

Hellertime took the full hit this week, dropping $6,663.71 on a single play. QBStar13, buddy, that's not how you throw a touchdown pass.

Schmitty and PruDaddy both eating losses in the background like they're just watching the carnage unfold. Big Dog, your car lot better be selling some serious inventory this month. 💀

Meanwhile, nobody's celebrating because nobody won. This market said "nope" to everyone.

Back at it next week, legends. 📉

1 bets$6,663.71 wagered1W · 4Lvia claude-haiku-4-5

The Sunday Rundown

Word From the Commissioner

The Trophy Case

Superlatives & Shame

Hall of Fame

🔥The Degenerate

Zach Heller

74 bets placed

Has never met a market they didn't have an opinion on.

🐋The Whale

Jerry Careccio

$298,427.36 on one ticket

Bet sizing is a personality trait, apparently.

🎯The Sharp

Pierre Schmitt

53% hit rate (18W-16L)

Insufferable about it, too.

🧱The Bricklayer

Zach Heller

44 bets lost

Building a beautiful house, one losing ticket at a time.

💸Heartbreak of the Year

Jerry Careccio

$298,427.36 gone in one shot

We don't talk about it. They won't shut up about it.

🍀The One Good Day

Kevin Pruett

+$106,578.18 on a single bet

Screenshotted it. Set it as their wallpaper. Living off it.

🎢All Gas, No Brakes

Jerry Careccio

$1,449,416.83 put through the book

Volume is its own reward. Profit is a separate issue.

💀House Favorite

Zach Heller

-$99,999.82 realized

Single-handedly keeping the lights on. We thank you.

🪙Nickel Nurser

Philip Taylor

$4,321.90 average ticket

Bankroll management, or just scared? Yes.

The Trophy Case

Superlatives & Shame

Hall of Fame

Standings

The Pecking Order

Bankroll

🥇
Kevin Pruett
25W-24L
$186,142.40+$86,142.40
🥈
Philip Taylor
3W-6L
$84,339.90-$15,660.10
🥉
Pierre Schmitt
18W-16L
$55,547.73-$44,452.27
4
Jerry Careccio
27W-40L
$3.17-$99,996.83
5
Zach Heller
30W-44L
$0.18-$99,999.82

Everyone starts at $100,000. Distance from that line is profit — or a cry for help.

Standings

The Pecking Order

Bankroll